Watch the animated video here to know How To Get Back On Track: The 3 Mindset Shifts.
It's a New Year Wohoouu!
New Year New You Right?
Remember Jan? When you were super excited about your new year resolutions?
You're writing a new page in your story.
A fresh start for your new bright life.
You set up the right habits to reach your goals.
You are disciplined.
For a week...
2 weeks.
But inevitably something comes up.
A lot of times out of your control.
You mess up your plan,
And something really scary happens...
You get your first X!
To be more clear, it's that first miss on your habit tracker.
If you're a perfectionist, like me,
This red X has enormous effect on you.
You feel really disappointed then you mess up more.
Cuz it won't be perfect anyway this time right?
…Ahh here comes the All Or Nothing Mindset that hinders all your progress.
Well, all my progress... for years.
This is where people lose their beautiful spark of hope and motivation.
They try.
They write the same goals every year.
They start over again and again.
But eventually, most of them quit.
It's normal right?
You get tired and frustrated when you keep failing.
Pushing through is not as simple as it sounds anymore.
For me,
I believe moving on after that first X,
Is the hardest step in developing any habit.
How you do it determines your success.
The book "Finish" by "Jon Acuff" confirmed this belief by saying how
"The Day After Perfect" is the day you choose.
You choose whether you wanna be from the 8% who stick to their resolutions,
Or the 92% who don't.
That's why.. I am writing a full series of posts, just to help you get over that freakin X.
So what do you think is the first and most critical step in changing anything in our lives?
It is changing how we think about it.
Yes, it is changing our mindset.
You cheated though, you just looked at the title.
So here are 3 Extremely Powerful Mindset Shifts,
That have always helped me Get Back On Track.
1. Expect It
Hey,
If you actually think you will not make mistakes,
Congratulations,
You're screwed.
It will happen.
Don't let it surprise you.
You have to do a number of mistakes before u succeed,
In absolutely anything worthwhile.
Don't believe me?
Ask your mum!
Yup, she knows how many times u kept falling before u could walk.
Researchers have found that toddlers fell on average 17 times an hour.
If they were new walkers, they fell an average of 69 times an hour.
Ever heard of someone learning to bike without falling once?
No? Okay.
So You better be prepared, and learn how to deal with it.
Good news, you're doing that now!
By learning how to fail better,
How to fail gracefully,
You become unbreakable.
When you bring that silly cute smile of a baby when she gets back up,
Your dreams are not so fragile any more.
They don't get shattered with every obstacle.
You change your ways but not your aspirations.
Mistakes that you've faced have been learned from and won’t be made again.
It’s the mistakes that are hidden that you should worry about.
It needs courage to not get scared of failure.
It's a struggle to accept having imperfect results.
I still struggle with it, hence the name of this blog. Don't tell anyone!
It stings every time as you slowly build your armor against it.
It takes practice, but you have to start somewhere.
They say “No Plan Will Survive First Contact With Reality”.
This.. cannot be more true.
And here comes our first prompt:
P.s prompts in this post are sentences you write down 3 times
While saying out loud.
Close your door, write down and shout out:
"I am prepared for setbacks"
"I am prepared for setbacks"
"I am prepared for setbacks"
2) Get It Out Of Your Way And Grow
Again, obstacles are located in the center of the road.
To reach your destination, you have to pass by,
No other way.
What we don't wanna do
Is to keep circling around the same obstacle,
By repeating the same mistake over and over.
Or to just quit whenever we see one.
The key is to get them out of your way for good.
One by one.
Don't overwhelm yourself.
Get the most out of every mistake.
As Oswald Avery says:
“Whenever You Fall, Pick Something Up.”
With each one you grow.
You try different ways and you get better.
You troubleshoot, you reflect, you ponder.
I bet you don't do that when you succeed.
You acquire more knowledge and self awareness.
Until you eventually master your habits.
Now they are much deeper and stronger
Than even those that came naturally without much effort.
In reality failing only means that you're getting closer to your goal.
Yes you read that right!
Remember, Failure and success are on the same road.
You're one mistake closer!
So here's our second prompt: Write Down and say
"Failure is just a powerful learning experience"
"Failure is just a powerful learning experience"
"Failure is a powerful learning experience"
3) Trust The Hidden Progress
Sometimes you do a lot of effort, but it seems like,
Ehhmm.. It's not even that you're not making progress,
You're actually moving backwards,
Like you're worse than when you've started.
In the middle of your journey, you find yourself left with no tangible success,
Left with nothing, nothing at all.
This usually happens in one of 3 situations:
Let's analyze each of them.
The First is when you pick a habit that does not suit you,
You don't feel it or you just can't fit it in your current routine.
Remember this: Exploring is a critical part of the process.
You have to try out different things to find what works best for you.
This inherently means that you'd have to try out things that you will eventually quit.
However it is still extremely important for 2 main reasons:
1. You get to know yourself,
Your preferences, Your current abilities, Your resources; time, money, attention, What you're good at, What excites you and what not.
With every option you exclude,
You get lots of insights that will help you in all your next choices.
Take notice,
And don't just expect to stumble upon your "thing" in your first trial.
2. You beat FOMO; fear of missing out.
When you think you really wanna try something and you never do it,
You live in regret.
"If I've just tried this my life would have transformed!".
In this case, even if it's not a good fit for you,
Trying and taking the conscious decision to rule it out,
Would still be so much better.
You might have to start the business you've been dreaming about,
Just to figure out that you don't like risks,
You don't like your attention shattered,
Wearing all the different hats that an entrepreneur has to wear.
You like it much more when you work in a big well established company.
You learn directly from managers, focus on what you do best, excel at it,
And feel the achievement with every promotion.
You might figure out that you loved creating art more when it was a hobby
Than when you had to sell it.
You might think that those are failed trials.
Wasted time, money and energy,
But they're not.
This is a small price, a very small price,
For your job and life satisfaction to skyrocket forever
As you now appreciate it more.
Oh and you won't feel envy seeing every linkedin and Instagram profile,
Thinking you could do better,
You now know what it takes, and you also know you don't wanna take it,
That it's not all roses as it seems.
Moving on to the second scenario,
When you make a mistake that makes you lose all your progress.
First, let's be direct,
You will have to start again anyway right?
Your destination is still the same,
You know you want it, so it's better to do it now.
Pause and ask yourself,
Is whatever you are doing now instead of your habit,
Is it worth doing more harm that you'd still have to undo later?
If it is, and you are willing to make up for it, as much as it takes,
Of course feel free to continue doing what you are doing.
But if it's not worth it,
Then don't get trapped in the endless cycle of over doing and over quitting.
Okay over quitting is not a word, but you get the idea.
Now when u get back on track, you won't be starting from zero.
You now know your patterns and you're more experienced.
In addition to that, Losing all your progress,
And intentionally choosing to start over,
This means something,
This means that now you know your why,
You know how bad it feels when you quit,
You know the value that this goal has to you,
So much that you would be
The most disciplined and motivated person on the planet
Regarding this now.
Remember these 2 Happy Facts Honey:
Life has an infinite number of opportunities and possibilities.
It is never your last chance.
No effort is ever wasted. Nothing you do is in vain.
No matter how irrelevant you think it is,
Everything is connected.
It is stored.
It is accumulating.
Cuz it is building you.
You are your greatest asset.
It's not the tangible achievements,
It is you!
This is how I think about it.
If you're taken away from your current life situation,
And get thrown in a new country,
With no one you know,
No job, nothing,
Are you gonna be able to build it all again?
Yes just more amazingly this time with all your experiences.
That is the goal.
You just have to do one single thing,
Keep Going,
And when your efforts reach a certain threshold,
Its compound effect will amaze you,
You'd think you just had an overnight success.
It was not, it was all you.
The character, the discipline and the resilience you've built.
The knowledge and the self awareness you now have.
All the ways you now know will not work,
Guided you towards what will.
You've completed the puzzle.
And the most exciting part, is the journey.
Enjoy it.
Now to the third scenario.
What if it was an incident that happened to you
And you have no control over?
Remember this:
There is never only one right track for you,
It is never just one thing that will make you happy.
Let life flow smoothly through you!
Let me tell you a personal story,
Cuz I love talking about myself.
Last year I had some leg injuries that prevented me from doing
Literally all the exercises I love: Zumba, Yoga, and leg days,
For almost the whole year.
Those were 3 out of the 9 main goals on my vision board for the year.
But I did not quit working out.
And if it were not for that injury,
I would have never known how much I love walking in nature.
I wouldn't have known that those upper body workouts I've been slacking on
Are very important and transformative for girls as well,
And I wouldn't have met my physiotherapist who became a dear friend of mine.
Plus, if you've learnt how you can do it once, you can do it easily again.
Now I am back to my exercise routine,
Yes I may slightly take more time to get back to my weights, my flexibility, and my fitness,
But I have returned with a bag of bonuses,
And an exercise habit as solid as hell.
Randomness of life is beautiful.
Honestly, I think I would be bored if my plans are executed exactly as I wanted.
So here is tip 3 prompt: Write down and say
I am enjoying the journey.
I am enjoying the journey.
I am enjoying my journey!
"I Have Not Failed, I've Just Found 10,000 Ways That Didn't Work" ~Thomas Edison
Now tell me, which of the 3 Mindset Shifts you feel you needed most?